"I'm So Triggered. What Can I Do?"

I wrote this in early 2020 when the COVID quarantine began. But being triggered can happen at any time.

I had a really hard week a few weeks ago.

At first I thought it was just the ongoing stress from the COVID situation because everyone I know is feeling extra stress and all its effects. But I was REALLY depressed and overwhelmed.

Then the Lord showed me what was going on– I was triggered about the abuse for the first time in years since I healed the trauma from my abusive marriage.

This quarantine, and having no physical contact with anyone for weeks, was triggering me. When my son came over to eat dinner outside 10 feet apart and I was wishing we could hug, it all clicked:

This physical distancing was reminding me of the those weeks and months that would go on and on with my ex shutting me out, giving me the silent treatment, shunning me, and not looking at me, let alone hug me. Back then, those times would send me into a spiral of confusion and self-doubt along with a desperate need to figure out what I did wrong so I could fix it and get “contact” again.

But the confusion, self-doubt, constant introspection and obsession about how to bring back some closeness made me crazy back then because I still thought his behavior was about me.

Suddenly, 10 years later, simply because of an old trigger, I once again was battling self-doubt and depression and it had nothing to do with my current life.

Thankfully I used my trauma tools to resolve the trigger and felt relieved and happy again, and so grateful to Jesus for showing me what was going on.

I’m not the only one was triggered by the COVID situation. It happened to many abuse survivors.

Look at how hard it is on people who have safe homes, loving friends, and stable emotional lives.

No wonder it’s hard for women who are trying to heal from the trauma of abuse.

Here are some comments from the women in our Confusion to Clarity FB group about what they were facing during the quarantine:

I have been having problems with self-doubt, purpose, reason to live, and overbearing emptiness in my soul.

This is showing me how my body has been screaming about the abuse for years now. I hear and feel it now. (I don't know what I'd do without the tools you teach in Arise. They are helping me cope.)

Yes the trigger is real! Thank you for bringing this to light. I have been triggered this whole time but didn't even think to connect it back to the life of isolation, no hugs, or real physical affection. Makes total sense now why I feel sad and depressed.

Yes, I am very emotional, yet very numb. And that’s confusing. I wish that I could feel God’s love. I wish that I felt love from anyone. But your story is so familiar to me. I just feel lost and so disconnected.

I can’t even fill my need for face to face adult interaction let alone physical contact. I am having physical symptoms from the depression and anxiety including migraines, muscle pains, stomach issues, etc. It has been horrible.

I, too, am triggered and my chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia is back and ruling my life. I am back to less self care and having terrible brain fog and lethargy.

Your story made me realize I have a lot more healing to do than I realize, but also, that I have a whole lot more happiness, joy, and freedom still to feel in the future than I realize.

It's the same trigger for me!! Being denied touch or intimacy for so long and now this loneliness... it's almost too much. I don't have trauma tools to use.

Don’t you hate that feeling of being triggered?

The confusion, the depression, the anxiety, the inner conflict. Feeling so uncomfortable in your own skin. Wishing it would go away and there could be a bit of peace again.

Most survivors can easily get triggered. All it takes is seeing our ex, or an old friend who betrayed us and sided with our abuser. Or going to church. Or having our child act like our ex. Or hearing a song.

We don’t have to live that way.

Here are some steps you can take to manage the triggering:

Be proactive to help yourself cope with your triggers.

Understand how trauma affects you so you know there’s nothing wrong with you.

Remember that when you have unhealed trauma in your past, being triggered is a normal reaction, and you will get through it, but healing the trauma will stop the triggers for good.

Understand exactly what the trigger is connected to from your past. Sometimes it takes a while to understand what’s caused the trigger, and in the meantime, how do you relieve the anxiety? How do you calm our body again? Here are some things you can do to get a little relief.

But ultimately, don’t we all want deeper, permanent healing?

I had an online meeting with some survivors recently and they shared that they are seeing places in them that they thought we were healed, that they now see they need deeper healing for. They are looking for how to get stronger and build more resilience in themselves.

And that’s what the Arise Healing Community can help you do.

In Arise, you’ll learn effective trauma healing tools that use your nervous system and brain to rewire the trigger, calm your body, and bring equilibrium back. And as you heal, the triggering will no longer happen.

Imagine taking a guided healing journey for your heart, mind, spirit, brain and body with a safe community of women who understand what you are feeling.

… a journey to becoming your own hero by connecting with your inner strength and courage– with what’s right with you– so you can have compassion on yourself, release yourself from blame and guilt, feel safe with yourself, and know you can rely on yourself again.

Understanding how to manage triggers is one of the 6 pillars of the Arise Healing Journey.
You can learn more about the Arise Healing Community here.

Here’s a podcast that you will find helpful!