There’s no doubt that communicating with a covert abuser is one of the most confusing things we deal with. All. Day. Long. I’m often asked, “How can I communicate with my narcissist husband?” To understand how, here’s what you need to understand about his goals in all conversations with you, and some guidelines and techniques to use.
Read More“I’m out so why aren’t I happy? I thought I would feel better by now.” “I feel like something must be wrong with me.” “I have such anxiety about making a decision, being alone, not trusting myself, missing out on life, parenting.”
These are the pain-filled things I hear survivors say so often. And the worst part is that underneath the pain is the fear that they’re doing something wrong that’s keeping them from healing. We do everything we know to heal; we pray, we try to change our false beliefs and thoughts, we even go to counseling. And we find some relief. But down deep we’re still struggling.
After many years of being blamed for my suffering, I came to understand that I could hardly expect the church to know how to heal abuse when they barely even acknowledge it. We need a path to healing and the level of help that’s equal to to the level of injury.
Read MoreSurvivors answer these questions: How did you come to realize that your husband’s covert emotional and psychological abuse was intentional? Before this, did you believe he was unaware, wounded, or some other thing that made you give him the benefit of the doubt over and over? When you realized the abuse was intentional, how did this change things for you?
Read MoreDo you know why it's important to learn about the covert tactics that are being used on you? Because this is absolutely the fastest way to get out of feeling crazy. These tactics frame the ongoing, secret mind games that are meant to systematically manipulate your psychology and emotions. Covert abusers cloak these tactics in concern, love, charm, praise, fake empathy, trustworthiness, smiles and pretending to be your biggest supporter. They are under the radar and hidden so that you, the target, can’t easily identify what’s going on.
Read MoreHow Do I Accept That My Worst Nightmare Is True? What Do I Do Now? My Life Is Turned Upside Down- How Do I Deal With This? How Can I Fix Things? How Do I Set Boundaries With A Covert Abuser? Why Did This Happen To Me? Did I Do Anything Right? What Does Healthy Look Like?
Read MoreYour world has been spinning around in confusion- this roadmap of the stages of healing you’ll go through coming out of emotional and psychological abuse can give you some solid ground to walk on. What stage are you in?
Read MorePTSD can take many forms: anxiety, fear, terror, brain fog, being in a stupor, having a hard time getting off the couch, no motivation, and irritability. Most of the symptoms are probably things that you have blamed yourself for in the past. There are techniques you can learn to handle PTSD when it debilitates you. What helps you calm down?
Read MoreYou know something is wrong in your marriage and you can’t explain it. You’ve read examples and definitions of emotional abuse and they haven’t described your experience. You wonder “Is it me or is it him?” If you’re confused and feel like you’re on a merry-go-round of emotional pain, frustration and self-doubt, it may be from the mind games, gaslighting and manipulation of covert psychological and emotional abuse.
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